Fear.
It can wrap it’s boney cold fingers around you and immobilize you.
That’s how I was feeling a few weeks ago. So full of fear.
I was fearful of getting my head shaved.
Turned out it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe it was because I was half bald already from the radiation therapy I had on my skull.
Half bald looked really funny and as I was not in the mood for a “comb over”, completely bald made common sense. And I was right. All bald is better than half bald.
Now I notice the cold, and have to make sure I wear something on my head when I go out. Contrary to popular thinking it is not because I am bald that I cover up, but because I’m cold!
I have a whole new appreciation for my bald husband and sons.
My other enormous fear was chemo. What would it be like? Would I be sick?
Well, so far, after my first cycle it hasn’t been too bad. As a matter of fact it has been better than I expected with the exception of the last few days when I have been sick.
But my wonderful doctor is on my side and makes sure that I have the pills I need to get through this short time.
Fear of the unknown is something we can all identify with. I think it is better to know what to expect then not to know, because it takes the fear away and makes life more manageable. I like to be informed.
Currently, I’m on a break in between treatments. A time to catch my breath, and start to feel better.
Apparently, I have two more cycles to go which will take me into early November. As a matter of fact I will finish the third cycle on my birthday. I think that calls for a celebration.
So, for now, I am learning how to be happy doing nothing and reading lots of humour. If you have any humour books to suggest I would sure appreciate it.
And talk about appreciation, I want to mention a fabulous group of ladies who have been bringing supper over to our place on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings for the month of September. Brenda, Kirstin, Julia, Karen, Vicki, and Charlene. It is an absolute God-send to me, as I do struggle with making supper for my husband who works all day and needs a meal when he comes home.
In addition, thanks to Nola, Evie, Cydnie, Dean, Darcy, Brenda, Marie, Vince, Dave, Debbie and Susan. I can’t find the words to thank you for all that you do.
With such wonderful support from the community, neighbours, family and friends I will find the courage and determination to get through these next few days.
Fear no longer lives here. I can do this!
