Stampede Rides
We here at the Eagle took it upon ourselves to test out a number of rides at the Stampede Midway – to ensure safety and overall satisfaction, of course. So you’re welcome. Out of eight rides, here’s what we thought were the top three:
We started off our evening with a ride titled Polar Express. The ride is a series of carts linked together in a chain that spin the passengers in a counter-clockwise direction while simultaneously lifting the cart up and down in a wave-like motion. We considered this to be a seemingly innocent ride– we were wrong. Firstly, the way passengers are positioned in the carts leads you to travelling backwards the entirety of the ride. Not to mention, all that holds you into the ride is a bar that is locked down across your lap, no seatbelts or harnesses. When the ride first starts, the first couple of laps are at an agreeable speed, nothing too crazy. Then the operator increases the speed and you begin to question why you would ever trust a ride that only has a bar holding you in your seat. After a couple laps of that nonsense, you assume your torture is over and you can step off that deathtrap – wrong again. The operator takes it to a whole other level of scary as he increases the speed to what you’re sure is an illegal limit. Again, with only a bar preventing you from flying out, you will inevitably slide into your partner as both of you scream and cry and regret every life choice that led you to this point. After a few laps that last an eternity at that speed, the ride begins to slow and you count your lucky stars. We are still not entirely sure that ride is sanctioned but if you like to see your life flash before your eyes in the span of three minutes, we recommend the Polar Express.
If you enjoy a unique view of the city skyline, we recommend you try your hand at the Mach 3 ride. This ride is essentially a two-armed pinwheel that holds four passengers at each end, secured with a harness. In order to load riders on one end, the passengers on the other end must sit at the top, enabling you to view the entire park and a good portion of downtown. Unfortunately, all good things come with a price – once all passengers are loaded the pinwheel begins to spin at high speeds. The seats also begin to spin as the pinwheel arms spin so passengers are flipped upside down multiple times as they scream for dear life – again enabling a unique view of the city skyline at least.
If you fancy putting your adrenal glands to work, definitely try out Mega Drop. Staring up at the ride, it seems pretty basic – passengers are loaded into a ring that wraps around a large pole and are dropped from the top of it. What you don’t realize is that it actually feels like you are plummeting to your imminent death. Sure, you’re held into the ride with harnesses, that doesn’t stop you from lifting off of your seat. Probably the worst part of the experience is when you are sitting at the top of the ride, staring at the city skyline and the park, wondering when they’re going to drop you. As the anticipation builds, you begin to wonder if this is the last thing you’re ever going to see and if the headlines the next day will read Carnival Ride Catastrophe at Stampede or Cowardly Passenger Rescued from atop Safe Ride. After the drop, which lasts an eternity, we guarantee your blood will be pumping and your knees will be shaking – and you will probably want to go for round two.
