Vulnerability is not a crime.
Preying on the vulnerable is.
Yet, the way victims are often viewed, you get the feeling these simple truths are inverted – which is why Cochrane resident Todd Holt is one of the more compelling individuals in sport today.
Holt was one of several victims of Graham James, a Western Hockey League coach in Swift Current and Moose Jaw from the mid-1980s to the mid-1990s who preyed upon vulnerable teen players. The convicted child molester has been in jail since March 2012, serving a five-year sentence. On Nov. 20 he became eligible for parole, but has yet to apply.
In the aftermath of being a young James casualty in the junior hockey coach’s realm, Holt struggled to overcome the guilt he felt for being vulnerable and the perception of weakness that accompanied it. The tough and honest road he’s taken to his current destination is nothing short of remarkable.
“Even to be able to trust anybody in your life again, it’s very difficult. But it’s possible,” Holt says during a candid telephone conversation. “It took me a lot of years to gain that strength to want to fight this. I’m pretty straight-forward with the people I help. I don’t sugar-coat it. I don’t tell them it’s an easy road. But you know what? It’s worth it. That’s the biggest issue.”
Having your trust eviscerated by criminals like Graham James is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to feel guilty about. Very much the opposite. Holt understands this now and, while he can’t claw back the years he spent agonizing over what he might have done differently at the time, he isn’t wasting a minute in his crusade to bring justice to perps like James while empowering victims to reclaim their lives – to reassure them they’ve done nothing wrong. But breaking free of shame’s shackles is easier said than done.
“It’s very difficult,” Holt relates. “It has its ups and downs. There are times you want to give up and fold it all in. But at the very end of the day, it’s worth every ounce of it.”
He credits the support he’s received from wife Kristen, and from fellow players Sheldon Kennedy and Theoren Fleury who’ve also gone from James victims to powerful advocates, for his strength. That strength puts Holt in a place where he is compelled to help others. That, in turn, empowers them to do the same, ultimately dismantling the “weak” victim stereotype in the battle to bring predators to justice and toughen laws protecting kids.
“I’m not the big issue any more. It’s not about me. It’s about getting other people to come out, and ultimately protecting our kids of tomorrow. I don’t want this to happen to your children. I don’t want this to happen to anyone’s children. If I talk about it and speak out about it, it brings notice to it. Every time we bring notice to it, every time we talk about it, there’s another victim who gets help or another perpetrator who gets exposed. We bring them out of those dark shadows.”
Having channelled the stigma of victimization into a positive force for change, Todd Holt is altering the way victims are perceived. He’s demanding lawmakers do more to protect the vulnerable and continues to push all of us into the light for a clearer view of these issues.
The stigma of being a child molester, however, will follow Graham James around for the rest of his life.
