I’ve bought two bikes on Kijiji in the past year and both initial phone calls lasted a minute and involved two questions: “Still have the bike?” and, “Where do you live?”
I recently tried to sell the bike my 10-year-old daughter has outgrown and had to hang up on up a guy after his 20th question: “How much does the bike weigh?”
To which I politely replied: “I have absolutely no idea how much it weighs, man, and I’ve spent way too much time talking about this with you. It’s a kid’s bike. Think about it, and if you want it call me back.”
He never did.
Kijiji’s great for deals, but man, some of the folks you encounter make you wonder how some people successfully negotiate each day.
How much does the bike weigh?
For sure I know there are people who can provide you with that information. They are the spandex-wearing, farmer-baiters the Eagle’s Ryan McLeod adores so much; people who are looking for the lightest possible frame to help get them to Bragg Creek for coffee and back to town as fast as possible.
My new phone buddy started by asking me how big the tires were.
“I really don’t know,” I answered. “They are, however, as big as the tires are on a bike an eight-year-old rides. That’s how old she was when I bought it.”
“Does it have shocks in the front?”
“I don’t remember,” I told him. “I’m not at home right now. Are you looking at the picture I posted?”
“Yes,” he replied.
“Can you see shocks?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Then it has shocks.”
And on and on it goes for a couple minutes. My co-workers can verify this conversation actually took place. As my patience grew thinner their snickering grew louder.
How would you go about weighing a bike, anyway?
I could drive to the Calgary dump with the bike in the back of my van, ask them to weigh my vehicle as I enter, drive around to the exit, take the bike out and get the van weighed again without the bike. Bob’s your uncle.
I could go grab our bathroom scale, weigh myself holding the bike and then not holding the bike. Or vice versa. Again, Bob’s your uncle.
Problem with that is we don’t have a bathroom scale. Who wants to know how much they really weigh, anyway? I have a weight in my head and I’m sticking with it.
So, I still have the bike. The ad is still languishing on Kijiji waiting for the right person to call.
If you’re looking for a youth bike that weighs 25-or-so pounds and has 20 inch wheels, give me a call. Those are estimated figures and they will remain estimated figures. Don’t hesitate to call. I have a really pleasant phone manner.
