Every year, I try to read at least one book that is nominated for the Scotiabank Giller Prize for fiction to see what the literati of the book world are reading. This year, I chose If I Fall, If I Die by Michael Christie.
It is advertised as a story about a young boy named Will who has been kept inside his whole life by his agoraphobic mother, Diane, who panics whenever the front door is open. Basically, Will has never been to a playground, school or even in his own backyard. Surprisingly, this isn’t as grim as it sounds. Diane loves her son and has dreamed up an intriguing inside world to keep him entertained. Will has been nowhere and everywhere. Will has his meals in Paris, watches TV in Cairo, does the laundry in Toronto and sleeps in San Francisco. His mother even cleverly names the bathroom Venice.
Predictably, Will’s curiosity cannot be controlled and he eventually dreams of going Outside (the author capitalizes this to give its fearful implication emphasis). In the first chapter, after a blue jay slams into the window in Cairo, Will defies his mother and goes Outside to save it. Once Will tastes freedom, his appetite cannot be suppressed.
I was excited to learn how Will felt when he travelled through the woods, down by the river and eventually to a group of boys where he is hit in the forehead by slingshot ammo. Unfortunately, this is barely touched on by the author with no real mention of Will’s trepidation or fear. I wish the author had spent more time on the complicated issues of Will’s fraught home life and the complicated issues associated with Will adapting to his new life Outside. Surprisingly, he and his mother seem to handle this absolute 180-degree turn in their lives with relative ease, stretching credibility.
Still, the novel is not meant as a meditation on Will’s unique and troubled childhood, but develops into a connect-the-dots type detective story about bootlegged alcohol, pet wolves that never forget a human scent and generally shady happenings in abandoned grain elevators. This makes for a somewhat compelling read, I suppose, but it also goes a long way toward undermining the novel’s original tension and validating Will’s mother’s fears.
Overall, I found the depth to which this book delved into specific and emotional connections to be adolescent and doubtful. It does not surprise me that this book was not shortlisted for the Giller Prize. 2/5.
