Some provinces are grappling with how schools should be teaching their children about sex. Groups in Prince Edward Island are calling for updates to that province's inconsistent and out-dated delivery of sexual education. Alberta is in the process of updating its curriculum, which seeks to cover topics ranging from general anatomy to sexual orientation and gender identity. Ontario has the most visible debate on the topic as the new Conservative government has decided to revert the curriculum back to one drafted more than two decades ago. While which topics should be taught and when is a matter of opinion, there is one point that should be taught as early as possible. Consent. It's a word that seems to get parents up in arms and for some reason conjures images of teaching children how to say yes to sex. This narrow-minded and over simplified literal perception of the term – which is either being done for political reasons or out of simple ignorance – is doing a disservice to children. Consent is not simply about granting permission, it is also about instilling a sense of personal ownership and confidence that gives a person the power to say no. Additionally, it is about personal responsibility and understanding how to respect the sexual autonomy of another. Anyone with young children knows the struggle of teaching them to keep their hands to themselves and showing respect for personal space. At home that battle is at most frustrating, but outside of the home it can become awkward and embarrassing. Failing to properly learn that lesson at an early age can transform the problem from awkward to inappropriate to illegal as the child ages. Now, we realize most parents tackle this problem early and often if for no other reason than their own sanity. Others go a step further and explain why touching without consent is wrong. It's not even all about physical contact, there is also a psychological component to consent. On one side, it's about teaching children that being touched against their will, regardless of the person doing it, is always wrong. Always. On the other hand, it teaches that no always means no and using pressure, guilt and shame to negotiate a different response is just as wrong. Finally, it teaches that contact between two people should be conducted on an egalitarian basis where both parties are equal participants. To be clear, that concept doesn't only apply to sexual encounters, it can also apply to a handshake or a game of tag. Consent is vital in our efforts to combat sexual assault, which is unfortunately still a serious issue in our society. Between 2004 and 2014, a Statistics Canada survey of Canadian men and women aged 15 and older revealed more than 630,000 cases of victimization of some degree – varying from unwanted touching to all out rape. Of those cases, 87 per cent were against women. As this was a survey, the results are based on people self-reporting and did not necessarily go through the legal system. In 2017, there were more than 8,000 cases of sexual violations against children (14 and under) – which includes sexual interference, invitation to sexual touching, sexual exploitation and luring – and 6,500 incidents of child pornography. Neither of those figures include the number of children involved in the more than 25,000 level 1, 2 or 3 sexual assault charges laid across the country in that same year. The numbers are staggering and disturbing. They also point to a need to begin teaching boys and girls about not only the importance of consent but also about mutual respect and the importance of personal autonomy.
